[percocet]

                                I feel numb

[and not the good kind of numb.

it's the kind of numb that suppresses everything.

the good, the bad, the joy]

I used to think that was OK,

but now

                                I feel dead

[and not the kind of dead where you’re remembered.

it’s the type of dead

where you disappear]

I was fine with that

until I realized

                                I would yell

but I can’t.

[my voice ran away.

and it’s not the kind of runaway

where it might come back.

but it’s the kind that left

with the intent to die]

I didn’t miss it much

thinking that

                                I would laugh

except I forgot how.

[and not in the way

that I can’t remember.

but in the way that I can’t recall

what it was like]

You see, I didn’t expect

that being numb meant that

                                I would cry.

but that couldn’t f*cking feel

enough [to know

what the hell

emotions are]

                               

                 [maybe it’s the percocet]